Donald Trump issued a fresh round of Presidential pardons today, diverging from his usual recipients of Republican allies, cryptocurrency magnates, scammers, or participants in the January 6th Capitol riot. This time, the pardons were linked to a traditional Thanksgiving custom where the President symbolically spares two turkeys from being consumed during the holiday festivities.
Named Waddle and Gobble, this year’s fortunate birds received their official pardons, although Waddle was notably absent from the ceremony without explanation. In a seemingly heartwarming gesture at the family event, Trump declared to Gobble that it was “very important” to grant him unconditional pardon, offering a brief moment to pet the plump bird before the atmosphere turned somewhat darker.
During the event, Trump veered into making off-color remarks, including references to a controversial prison, jibes aimed at Joe Biden, insults directed at the Governor of Illinois, and misleading claims about crime statistics. He asserted that there had been no murders in Washington DC for the past six months due to the National Guard’s presence, despite the actual count being 61.
Expressing frustration over being impeded from taking similar actions in Chicago, Trump directed sharp comments at Governor Pritzker, labeling him a “big fat slob.” Despite his disparaging remarks, Trump humorously suggested sending the turkeys to a brutal prison in El Salvador, jokingly associating them with political figures Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi.
Continuing his jesting tone, Trump mocked Biden’s use of an automated pen for last year’s turkey pardons, humorously declaring the prior pardons as invalid under his official determination.